Love in my finest definition

Yes, I have been loved, I have loved before... the wrong person though. I loved the way I knew best. I loved with my truth. So what is love, what is right in love and what should you know when on this journey?

I have learnt the hard way that love is just not saying, I love you, it is you knowing that you love yourself so much that you want the best for yourself that it sends a message to the person you fall for, to look at how you love yourself that they want to be part and parcel of that love. That is love.

I have also learnt that love is not a part time job, it is a full time job. You have to love when they are all well and ok to the time they are sneezing and look like they just had an electrocution chair treatment. One will get moody along the way but all it means is they need space.

The body will change and whomever you met five to ten years ago will not in any way look like what you are seeing at the moment, but hey, the only thing constant in life is change. Embrace the change and adapt. Just as a poor man can win a lottery and adapt into riches, adapt accordingly.

Respect is one thing we lose for each other along the way. You might say you have never spoken rudely to your partner but do you know even discussing your partner to others instead of confronting and talking to them about your discomfort is disrespecting them? Not listening when they are quiet and also when they speak is also disrespect, not adapting to allowing each other to experience who the other is (like knowing they hate when dishes are left not arranged on the sink even if dirty or they love listening to music without distraction as they clear their chores) is also a form of disrespect.

Communication is a vital thing that needs to be open at all cost, be transparent without fear and I can assure you cases of withheld assets and accounts will never come to bite you in the rear. Let them know there is a secret account even if they will not know how much is in there. It creates trust and hence they will be rest assured that if you tell them you are out with the boys or the girls, it is exactly what you have said that is going on.

Close your ears to the public. Not everyone will be happy you are happy in your marriage or relationship and will do their best to ruin a good thing. Let the public talk but listen to what your partner says. Do not go taking every advice you get and act to it when you can decide to trash, take some and use what is important to build up. The philosophy of an independent woman has been preached and exhausted in the right to a wrong perception but we all know, most successful unions have worked because every partner knows what they are expected to bring to the table and responsibilities to fulfill… if a woman is to subject, subject and in the right way and if a man is to lead, lead but not control at the expense of the others peace and happiness.

A union between two should be with both persons from different walks of life but with a target that brings them together that involves them to each other’s life to get to that goal faster and easier as a team. You cannot play football alone, you need a team to win. Union is not a test, stop copying the other couple on what they are doing and applying the same to yours, their paper is different from yours. It is not a test and hence stop coming into the exam room frightened and with answers from nowhere on how to answer, it is an experience that enables you to find what works for you two, how and when. Stop panicking, just like life, we live it forward and connect the dots backwards.

I have come to understand, commitment to make things work, encouraging each other, respect, communication, team playing, being there for the other and open communication amongst others is what it means to say you are in love. That is when you say I AM IN LOVE.

          ©Francis Wairimu

Image courtesy - Google